The tribute my Memere deserves is coming soon, but not very soon. It's still too fresh to process. You could say I'm really just now starting to parse through my feelings of loss after the rush of hugs and reminiscing and togetherness. Settling down with my thoughts, it's much harder on me than I assumed it would be. Though I'm not sure why I thought it would be easy, or at least, not too difficult to accept that she's gone. Losing your loved ones is not something you ever get used to, nor should it be. It's the inevitable downside of having loved ones in the first place.
This picture was taken maybe the second-to-last time I saw Memere. I don't actually remember the last time, I don't remember saying goodbye. I do know it was on "our" island, which is fitting of course. But it was really, really important to me that I get this picture taken of her and Joe and HR. It's not like I had a premonition or anything, just being cognizant that people don't last forever and I had better capture the moments while I can. But even living with memento mori just under the surface, even with my halfhearted stabs at preparing for what's always coming, it's a shock to the system. There's no way to be pepared. You just deal with it, and hopefully make the most of the time you got. I really believe that I did.
I miss my Memere and I always will. Someday I'll be ready to tell you all the reasons why.
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