Fifteen years ago today was my last day as an unmarried woman. I remember my mindset so clearly, how excited I was for the big day, scared I was going to start crying during the ceremony and be puffy-faced in all the pictures (I didn't), but mostly looking forward to the party and having all our friends and family there to celebrate with us. I had my one allotted pre-wedding freakout and used it the night before on my poor dress, which I chose and suddenly decided I hated. But it didn't even cross my mind to be freaked out about what I was about to do. (I also calmed down about the dress, in case you were wondering.)
Mike and I married relatively young, and while I would not recommend doing that for most people, it worked out really well for us. Partly because, as we met when we were housemates, we never didn't live together, so there were no surprises down the road. But the major part of why it has been such a good run for us is not something we had much control over. We just really dig each other, we get each other, you know? Really, why else do people in modern society get married? But we're lucky that that has never changed. A month shy of my 24th birthday, I didn't think twice about making a lifetime commitment to this man with whom I'm still happily sharing my life because I couldn't see things being any different with us. It just made sense. We were Mike and Dawn, and that's how it was going to be, so why wait?
A decade and a half down the road, and so far so good. We're not still together out of necessity, out of habit, because we share an awesome child, or because we're so entertwined with each other's families that it's impossible to separate them at this point. Sure those are all factors, but we built this union on the strong foundation of a shared love of the same things. Baseball, trivia, beer, food, music, family and each other. None of that has changed. I'm aware that all marriages take work, and we have our rocky moments here and there, but I do truly feel that for the most part things have been smooth because we have one of those rare connections. We live together well, we enjoy each other's company, we're best friends, plus that something extra that started out with immediate attraction and evolved and evolved. We grew up together. And so did our love. We have the same goals and priorities, and we've been lucky to get to do everything we wanted to do in our lives. We support each other, and if something's important to us, we find a way to make it work. We take care of each other. It's second nature.
We never do much in honor of our anniversary, it's not a big deal for us and we're not present-buying spouses. But because 15 years seems substantial enough to observe, we were thinking of using it as an impetus to do something big, maybe even take HR to Europe, but that's not in the cards this year. We have a plan to get away for a couple of days in the winter, but tomorrow night I think we'll celebrate the best way we know how, just hanging out with each other. These days, because of the structure of our life, that's a pretty rare gift.
I write this entry, not as an authority on marriage or to start a "whose marriage is better?" competition. I write it as a tribute to my husband and best pal of life, who is a great husband, a great father, and a great man. I feel infinitely grateful to be breathing beside him every day. I know that life is a big fat middle finger of uncertainty, and there's no guarantee that both of us will still be here fifteen years from now, but I know with rock solid certainty that if we are, we'll be together.
Our wedding song was Bob Marley's "Is This Love" and we chose it partly for its stripped down sentiment: "I wanna love you, and treat you right. " And that's the beating heart of it. Every day, and every night. Happy Anniversary, babe.
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