I haven't really raised my voice with HR since my last entry. Part of it was a re-commitment to mindfulness, and part of it is that he has been doing his part by being well-behaved. Every day's a little triumph, until it's not. We set and re-set and move onto bigger or different concerns.
I can't seem to follow a thread of thought to its conclusion lately. I'm thinking in quips and snippets and, while I don't think this is a permanent condition, and it can be fun for its own sake, it might behoove me to force myself to settle. Follow a writing prompt in earnest. Maybe resurrect "morning pages" for awhile. Try not to consume so much information in one setting and just be still. It's hard when you want to do all the everything. Open up and swallow whole the books and the movies and TV shows and look at everyone's pictures and read their thoughts because there is way more than I'll ever see and while that makes me happy because of its infinite scale, at the same time it makes me panicky. What if I never get around to Great Expectations or Citizen Kane? I don't want to miss out. But it doesn't matter. It really really doesn't. Great art, not-so great art, it's out there waiting for me, with more added every day. I'll never catch up. All the more reason to go inside myself and settle. Resist the urge to multi-task and split my attention when it's not necessary. That does sort of fall in line with my efforts to reduce the hollerin'. Could this be a cohesive blog post? Hmm, nearly.
At the beginning of every yoga class I set the same intention: Roll with it, baby. Meaning, for an hour and a half, don't look ahead. Don't look at the clock or think about what I will do after, what I should be doing now. Don't anticipate a difficult pose. Just sincerely root myself in the moment and take it as it comes. And I almost always succeed. It would benefit me to apply this intention in other areas of my life, you think?
For now, I'm gonna wrap it all up in my big sweater and roll with it. Baby.